the room they chose

by dan darrah

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03:03
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01:25
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01:44
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01:57
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01:23
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02:02
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02:04
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03:40

credits

released December 27, 2016

art by hannah williams - www.flickr.com/photos/janesvilledoll

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about

dan darrah Whitby, Ontario

don't they know it's the end of the world?

all digital sales go to planned parenthood until the next federal election

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Track Name: charms
the bracelet hanging off your wrist came undone
it fell by your waist and skewered everything on its way down
the restaurants and the subway trains
anoint your arms just like charms
my bedroom and the roads i walk -
nothing’s left untouched
nothing’s left untouched
i want to be a ghost
i want to see you in Illinois
not just the things you destroy
i want to be a ghost
i'm standing in my room
bedsheet over my head
Track Name: safe
i want to move back home
i want to find the white fence
that i can grow into like moss
and make myself forgotten
before they forget me first
and i spend my life thinking,
"oh i really shoulda tried"
what's the point of trying?

let's sit in my garage and do some surgery
i'll hand you my hammer
we'll put it in the metal plate
i won't ever be afraid living on this street
if i can't get what i want
dell can sell what i need
Track Name: relatives
they might not be night terrors
but oh god they're still scary.
i think that you’re sleeping
but i don’t trust me at all -

do you build a world
that you can break
in your head?

you say that you’re happy
but i don’t think you feel it
at this place in the city -
i know you think of home in town

with the garden dancing
out by the fence
where we were young once
Track Name: hole
i didn’t see it, i didn’t hear it -
i felt you leave
all your things are in their place
they were ours once

mornings -
we pretended they were made for us
and the sun -
it was built just to serve us

i didn’t see it, i didn’t hear it -
i felt you leave
i'll take the 4:18 like i always did
and run away

my stomach -
it was made just to feel you
here
Track Name: midnight mass
i watched you declaw
i watched you fall apart
remove your elbows from your arms
pick out your teeth from your gums
what's the point?
i've been waiting for you
to say sorry to yourself
to be forgiven
i fall asleep and i'm slapped awake
i could break my back
and still be told to sit straight
the front of my hands touching my feet
you might've said "let him sleep"
i've been waiting for you
to say sorry to yourself
to be forgiven
you might've said "let him sleep"
you very well might've in a dream
where you're not afraid
in a place where we can fall back asleep
on sundays
Track Name: more
on moving day
i went up to the attic
to lose some things
like that time i got my brother
to hide it all away from me
i love you but i'd love to forget
i love you but i'd love to forget
i wish the skin would just fall off your bones
i wish words would just stay in your lungs
Track Name: forget-me-not
we sealed our clasped hands with the secrets
that all come out on weekends
we’re bad kissers but that never mattered
we had the planets between our fingers
the stairs to your room look like jacob’s ladder
i wanna climb up them to see what comes after
i hope it’s someplace with you
we laid in circles and recited forget-me-nots
i felt us mean them – i still do
i got drunk and let you win
that game of chicken we were playing
i got drunk and i called you
i tried not to
Track Name: okay
your hands on my face
your legs around my waist -
they remind me that i exist when i forget
there wasn't much you could do
that i wouldn't forgive
i invent car crashes,
build lakes you disappear in
but you always come walking back
there wasn't much you could do
that i wouldn't forgive
you never have to say much
to make me come in
i hold on just to do it again
Track Name: look away
you burn at twenty-two
the same way that you did
as a kid
it’s the same skin, it’s the same sun
but no one can see the connecting lines
so we had to divert their gaze
at least we try to

get me off this ride, plant me in the street
i wanna grow back up where no one will see
i don’t want a mouth, i'll spit out all my teeth
please let me change
but please look away

it's kinda sad,
the way we laugh to distract or to protect
don’t you think it's sad,
the way we laugh?
don’t you think it's sad?
Track Name: cage
i don’t want the skin back from that bite,
i won’t try to scrub the bruise from my eyes.
i spent a month just trying to suppress:
i cast my head in books and i won’t reel it back.

but there’s a side of a smile you can only see from the backseat
and it reminds me that i fit like sand around your feet and that i hold on tightly.

winter came like ice over cavities then it felt like a kiss
reminders of your gaze, your hands, your legs, feel like everything and what’s in between
all the things you pass follow you to bed, all the things you own find their legs- we just all love being seen – we’re all afraid we won’t be seen

there’s a side of a smile you can only see by the library where i go
to find a square foot of this world that deserves you

i don’t want the skin back from that bite – keep it with you
i don’t want your claws to give back my life – keep it with you – promise you will
that winter you broke both your feet – we sat on your bed and watched tv til the morning
and i never stopped to consider what else we could be doing